I don’t teach very well. When I’m explaining logic, my mind skips a couple of steps, and I expect the listener to make the same mental jumps as I do. In a chain of logic, I’ll only explain the linchpin leap of logic and expect that the rest is common knowledge¹. Then, my sentences just come out in short phrases that, out of context, don’t really make any sense. I supposed that some people are better teachers than others.

I used to think that mental ability was an overall measure of competency in everything. It made sense that, if you were smart in school, you could do leadership and counseling and everything just by applying logic and inductive reasoning to whatever situation. But then there are things like compassion and empathy that apparently require a great deal more reasoning than just thinking. Simply throwing logic at every difficult situation can resolve a quick solution but it’s like Keynesian economics: in the long run, the debt just keeps building. Some people say all things in moderation. And after a great period of moderation, you get sick of it and inspired to be optimistic, which is then followed by disillusionment and an overshot into pessimism, which puts you at depression for a while, until you can get back to the middle ground of realism. It’s like neurons that get hyperpolarized after the action potential passes. Does this go in a cycle? A monthly burst of Carpe Diem, followed by quiet cynicism. Or perhaps there is a definite direction in this madness, like the business cycle. Then, should we put counter-cyclic pressures on these cycles, or is it healthier to leave them alone?

We never really realize it, but schoolwork is such a great distraction to this madding cycle. It has the same effect that World War II had on the American economy. It’s essentially a mental high, and you’re consistently and comfortably close to the center arc of the cycle, forever stuck at G₀ of the cell cycle. Well, not actually forever. This high typically comes to a pause over the summer months when the distraction of school is released and the cell cycle can continue. So, we enact discretionary policy and try to fill our time with distracting work similar to what we get from school. Procrastination and passing time are especially hurtful in these months because of the effects of school withdrawal combined with the relentless movement of the mental cycle. This year was definitely more consistent a high than any other in the past, especially because of English and Biology. But it’s almost over, and these observations of past years may not apply. Maybe the withdrawal will be worse, or maybe it will be lighter. But I do know that I’ve been filling up summer with activity as a sort of analgesic to this upcoming three-month period of negative growth, until next year’s high comes.

Biology AP test: hit me already. It’s getting to my head.