Intern
So roger, tell us about your greatest weakness.(Crud. Oh crud. Alright, well I’m supposed to say something like I work too hard or I get too caught up in my work. It didn’t sound so demeaning last week. Gotta make something up quick. Weakness. Like getting distracted? Man it’s gotta be positive. Damn, I’m sweating bullets.)
My greatest weakness.. Probably working with other people.
(Yeah, that’s partially true. I’d really prefer to work alone. Actually, that’s not true. I’d like a bajillion clones of myself with unquestioning obedience and access to whatever I’m thinking of at the moment.)
Usually I work alone on my projects. Partly because there wasn’t anyone in my life who I could really discuss programming about, with. (ROGER! stop stuttering damit.) Then, I’ve got this theory about programming in teams. (Okay, familiar territory. I got this planned.) See, if one person works alone, they get a certain amount of work done. But if it’s two people, they get less than twice the amount of work done. (Wow that came out confusing.) I mean, say one person gets x amount of work done. Two would be like 1.5x. Sorta. They’ll screw around and stuff. And even if they don’t they’ve got to discuss the work they’re doing. There’s no instantaneous telepathic communication unlike if you’re working with yourself. I’d always wonder about how quickly I could finish big projects if I had a twin or two. Like, they’d know what I’m thinking and I’d know what they’re thinking and we’d be side-by-side programming on rainy afternoons. (Holy crap, this makes me sound like a work-a-holic.)
(Seriously, the programming enthusiasts I know are.. well. So I’m at the club meeting and theres these two white guys standing up in front of the classroom figeting around. Yup, something about a something else in March, or was it April? Then there’s these other short white guys and indian guys sitting around with their big backpacks and all slouched over and such. Damn, and these are the guys that I’m supposed to be like. Oh I hope not. This is exactly why I don’t work well with other people. Though, I can’t just blurt out all this in public. That’d be horrible. Okay well..)
I’d like this position because it gives me an opportunity (heh, typical BS. this is really humbling..) to learn to work with other people and not just myself. I believe that when people come together and pool their effort together, (Man note to self: get a bigger vocabulary.) they can achieve more than if they were working alone. (Heh, yup. Yeah right.)
If I’m given this position, I would turn this weakness into a strength and form better bonds with my peers and (peers, wtf? wrong word. damn.) help them communicate better. Because I will be specifically focusing on this aspect of team cooperation (gotta stop repeating myself now..), I’ll make a great project manager and I will help push products from start to finish quickly, and with skill.
Ahh, crud crud crud crud. Please get this over with.. Elapsed time: 16 minutes.