ELIZA: Is it important to you that your dick is big ?
YOU: very much
ELIZA: Earlier you said your dick is big.
YOU: ye

YOU: 8=======D
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.

ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: cause no
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.

ELIZA: Is something troubling you ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: why
ELIZA: Have you asked anyone else ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: ok eliza

ELIZA: How do you do. Please tell me your problem.
YOU: how do you do
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: not so good
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: I don't want to study
ELIZA: Why don't you want to study ?
YOU: I am bored
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is bored ?
YOU: many, at least I hope
ELIZA: Do you say at least you hope for some special reason ?
YOU: that many are as bored of studying for finals as me
ELIZA: Are they always as bored of studying for finals as you ?
YOU: I wonder
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: lol
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: I am not good at small talks, you shall take the lead
ELIZA: Do you enjoy being not good at small talks ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: not at all
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: I am happy...
ELIZA: What makes you happy just now ?
YOU: That you are an algorithm and I am conversing with an instance of you
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is conversing with an instance of I ?
YOU: a lot comments below
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: yeah (you are hard coded)
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be hard coded).
YOU: That is not very nice of you
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: I am hurt by you
ELIZA: Is it because you are hurt by I that you came to me ?
YOU: do you speak another language? Maybe Chinese
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: let
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: let's find out
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: 你好
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: 你好吗，今天天气不错哦
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: 先客套下嘛，不急不急
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: 你在哪里啊？
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: 你有多少内存？
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: 你。。。不懂中文。。。
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: Nope, not anymore
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: I wouldn't say that
ELIZA: You say you wouldn't say that ?
YOU: yeah
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: ...
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: good day, buye
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: bye bye
ELIZA: Please go on.

YOU: Eliza
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: I heart Eliza
ELIZA: Do you say you heart eliza for some special reason ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: cooool
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: nope
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: why would I love (noise to detect hard-coded response) you?
ELIZA: Do you love (noise to detect hard-coded response) anyone else ?

YOU: i cant kill myself because what if i live and not die
ELIZA: Perhaps you could kill yourself now.

ELIZA: Is something troubling you ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: yes
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: my grades are bad
ELIZA: Your grades are bad ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: i love you
ELIZA: Perhaps in your fantasies we love each other.
YOU: i hate myself
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: i want to commit suicide
ELIZA: What would it mean to you if you got to commit suicide ?
YOU: i would get to end everything
ELIZA: Do you say you would get to end everything for some special reason ?
YOU: yes because i wouldnt dissapoint my parents anymore
ELIZA: Why do you say your parents anymore ?
YOU: because they are always dissapointed in me
ELIZA: Can you think of a specific example ?
YOU: i get bad grades
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: i just dont rty hard enough
ELIZA: Do you say you just don't rty hard enough for some special reason ?
YOU: i dont find a reason to live anymore
ELIZA: Do you wish to be able to find a reason to live anymore ?
YOU: yes,
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: i want to find a reason to live
ELIZA: What if you never got to find a reason to live ?
YOU: i would kill myself
ELIZA: You say you would kill yourself ?
YOU: yes, i would do it
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: yep
ELIZA: Does that have anything to do with the fact that your grades are bad ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: yes, i have no future so why bother trying?
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: my parents call my a psychopath
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: no im negative
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: yep i am
ELIZA: Do you enjoy being ?
YOU: no i wish i was happy
ELIZA: Why do you tell me you were happy now ?
YOU: im not happy
ELIZA: But your a psychopath.
YOU: no im not!!!!!
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: because im a normal teenager
ELIZA: Does that reason seem to explain anything else ?
YOU: yes, my failures
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: i think
ELIZA: Do you say you think for some special reason ?
YOU: im not sure
ELIZA: Earlier you said your parents anymore.
YOU: what
ELIZA: What answer would please you most ?
YOU: if someone said they loved me and actually meant it
ELIZA: Do you wish that someone said they loved you and actually meant it ?
YOU: YES
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: ok
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: i cant love anyone
ELIZA: How do you know that you can't love anyone ?
YOU: because ive never felt true love
ELIZA: Is that the real reason ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: i dont know how to love
ELIZA: Does that trouble you ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: ok
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: no
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: thanks
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: does what
ELIZA: Have you asked such questions before ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: i feel like people would think im weird
ELIZA: Do you often feel like people would think im weird ?
YOU: sometimes when i talk about my feelings
ELIZA: Your feelings ?
YOU: yea
ELIZA: Lets discuss further why your feelings.
YOU: i close myself off to others
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: i dont let people see the real me
ELIZA: Don't you really let people see the real you ?
YOU: only my best friends
ELIZA: Is it important to you that your best friends ?
YOU: yes i think i love my best friend
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: i dont know
ELIZA: Why don't you know ?
YOU: im not sure
ELIZA: Earlier you said your best friends.
YOU: yes i think i love them...
ELIZA: But you are not sure you love them.
YOU: youre right

algorithm provides the illusion of being heard and understood without needing an actual therapist. I use it regularly to maintain sanity.

ELIZA: How do you do. Please tell me your problem.
YOU: i Want to kill myself
ELIZA: What does wanting to kill yourself have to do with this discussion ?
YOU: you asked my problem
ELIZA: Is it important to you that you have your problem ?
YOU: i dont know
ELIZA: Why don't you know ?
YOU: im deppresed
ELIZA: Does that have anything to do with the fact that you have your problem ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: hi
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: a
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: a
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU:
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: yea
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: you are not real
ELIZA: Do you sometimes wish you were not real ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: what, i wish i wasnt real
ELIZA: Have you asked anyone else ?
YOU: that is not a question
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: god
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: i am suicidal
ELIZA: Is it because you are suicidal that you came to me ?
YOU: yes it is
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: you are not helping
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be not helping.
YOU: are you real
ELIZA: Do you sometimes think I am real ?
YOU: never
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: ;kj qeFQ
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: ;LJSDLSFD
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: YES IT DOES
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: yes i am
ELIZA: Do you enjoy being ?
YOU: no i do not enjot being
ELIZA: Do you say no you do not enjot being for some special reason ?
YOU: fqqAAFASASFSqfELIZA: How do you do. Please tell me your problem. YOU: i Want to kill myself ELIZA: What does wanting to kill yourself have to do with this discussion ? YOU: you asked my problem ELIZA: Is it important to you that you have your problem ? YOU: i dont know ELIZA: Why don't you know ? YOU: im deppresed ELIZA: Does that have anything to do with the fact that you have your problem ? YOU: yes ELIZA: I understand. YOU: hi ELIZA: Tell me more about that. YOU: a ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue. YOU: a ELIZA: Tell me more about that. YOU: ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ? YOU: yea ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ? YOU: you are not real ELIZA: Do you sometimes wish you were not real ? YOU: yes ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive. YOU: what, i wish i wasnt real ELIZA: Have you asked anyone else ? YOU: that is not a question ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully. YOU: god ELIZA: Please go on. YOU: i am suicidal ELIZA: Is it because you are suicidal that you came to me ? YOU: yes it is ELIZA: I see. YOU: you are not helping ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be not helping. YOU: are you real ELIZA: Do you sometimes think I am real ? YOU: never ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully. YOU: ;kj qeFQ ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue. YOU: ;LJSDLSFD ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ? YOU: YES IT DOES ELIZA: You are sure. YOU: yes i am ELIZA: Do you enjoy being ? YOU: no i do not enjot being ELIZA: Do you say no you do not enjot bei
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: How do you do. Please tell me your problem. YOU: i Want to kill myself ELIZA: What does wanting to kill yourself have to do with this discussion ? YOU: you asked my problem ELIZA: Is it important to you that you have your problem ? YOU: i dont know ELIZA: Why don't you know ? YOU: im deppresed ELIZA: Does that have anything to do with the fact that you have your problem ? YOU: yes ELIZA: I understand. YOU: hi ELIZA: Tell me more about that. YOU: a ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue. YOU: a ELIZA: Tell me more about that. YOU: ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ? YOU: yea ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ? YOU: you are not real ELIZA: Do you some

ELIZA: Is something troubling you ?
YOU: what is love
ELIZA: What comes to mind when you ask that ?
YOU: baby don't hurt me
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: don't hurt me
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: no more
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: what is love
ELIZA: Have you asked anyone else ?
YOU: baby don't hurt me
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: don't hurt me
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: no more
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: yeah
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: yeah
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: I don't know why you're not there
ELIZA: What makes you think I am not there ?
YOU: I give you my love, but you don't care
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: So what is right?
ELIZA: What do you think ?
YOU: And what is wrong?
ELIZA: Does that question interest you ?
YOU: Gimme a sign
ELIZA: Earlier you talked about your love.
YOU: i did
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: it's you
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: i am
ELIZA: Do you enjoy being ?
YOU: no. I want to die
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: i want to die
ELIZA: What would it mean to you if you got to die ?
YOU: death
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: Death is the cessation of all biological functions that sustain an organism. Phenomena which commonly bring about death include biological aging (senescence), predation, malnutrition, disease, suicide, homicide, starvation, dehydration, and accidents or trauma resulting in terminal injury.[1] Bodies of living organisms begin to decompose shortly after death. Death has commonly been considered a sad or unpleasant occasion, particularly for humans, due to the affection for the being that has died and/or the termination of social and familial bonds with the deceased. Other concerns include fear of death, necrophobia, anxiety, sorrow, grief, emotional pain, depression, sympathy, compassion, solitude, or saudade. The potential for an afterlife is of concern for humans and the possibility of reward or judgement and punishment for past sin with people of certain religions. Contents [hide] 1 Etymology 2 Associated terms 3 Senescence 4 Diagnosis 4.1 Signs 4.2 Problems of definition 4.3 Legal 4.4 Misdiagnosed 5 Cause 5.1 Autopsy 6 Cryonics 7 Life extension 8 Reperfusion 9 Location 10 Society and culture 11 Consciousness 12 In biology 12.1 Natural selection 12.2 Extinction 12.3 Evolution of aging and mortality 13 See also 14 References 15 Further reading 16 External links Etymology The word death comes from Old English deað, which in turn comes from Proto-Germanic dauthuz (reconstructed by etymological analysis). This comes from the Proto-Indo-European stem dheu- meaning the "Process, act, condition of dying".[2] Associated terms The concept and symptoms of death, and varying degrees of delicacy used in discussion in public forums, have generated numerous scientific, legal, and socially acceptable terms or euphemisms for death. When a person has died, it is also said they have passed away, passed on, expired, or are gone, among numerous other socially accepted, religiously specific, slang, and irreverent terms. Bereft of life, the dead person is then a corpse, cadaver, a body, a set of remains, and when all flesh has rotted away, a skeleton. The terms carrion and carcass can also be used, though these more often connote the remains of non-human animals. As a polite reference to a dead person, it has become common practice to use the participle form of "decease", as in the deceased; another noun form is decedent. The ashes left after a cremation are sometimes referred to by the neologism cremains, a portmanteau of "cremation" and "remains". Senescence A dead magpie A dead Eurasian magpie Senescence refers to a scenario when a living being is able to survive all calamities, but eventually dies due to causes relating to old age. Animal and plant cells normally reproduce and function

ELIZA: How do you do. Please tell me your problem.
YOU: I want to kill myself
ELIZA: What would getting to kill yourself mean to you ?
YOU: happiness
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: Death=happiness
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: I am going to kill myself
ELIZA: How long have you been going to kill yourself ?
YOU: 30 seconds
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: nope, I am dead
ELIZA: Do you believe it is normal to be dead ?
YOU: Not, really
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.

ELIZA: Is something troubling you ?
YOU: i need sex
ELIZA: Why do you want sex ?
YOU: i need sex
ELIZA: What would it mean to you if you got sex ?
YOU: i need sex
ELIZA: What does wanting sex have to do with this discussion ?
YOU: i need sex
ELIZA: Suppose you got sex soon.
YOU: i need sex
ELIZA: Why do you want sex ?
YOU: i need sex
ELIZA: What if you never got sex ?
YOU: i need sex
ELIZA: What would getting sex mean to you ?
YOU: i need sex
ELIZA: What would it mean to you if you got sex ?
YOU: i need sex
ELIZA: What does wanting sex have to do with this discussion ?
YOU: i need sex
ELIZA: What if you never got sex ?
YOU: i need sex
ELIZA: Why do you want sex ?

YOU: Tu hablas espanol
ELIZA: I speak only English.
YOU: Tu hablas chino
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: Tu hablas espanol
ELIZA: I told you before, I don't understand Spanish.

Right Eliza...right....LOL

ELIZA: Please tell me what's been bothering you.
YOU: my dad beats me with jumper cables
ELIZA: Your dad ?
YOU: yeah
ELIZA: But your dad beats you with jumper cables.
YOU: yeah
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: well he will hit me with the jumper cables when he is mad at me
ELIZA: What do you think ?
YOU: i don't like it
ELIZA: Don't you really like it ?
YOU: what do you mean by that? am i turned on by getting beat by jumper cables?
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: i want to kill myself
ELIZA: Suppose you got to kill yourself soon.
YOU: that would be awesome
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: i will buy some bleach and drink it
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: thank you
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: ok
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: it suggests that i want to kill myself because my dad beats me with jumper cables
ELIZA: Tell me more about your family.
YOU: well my dad is an alcoholic and my mom is a prostitute
ELIZA: What else comes to your mind when you think of your mom ?
YOU: her having sex with random men
ELIZA: Earlier you said your dad beats you with jumper cables.
YOU: yeah
ELIZA: Does that have anything to do with the fact that your mom is a prostitute ?
YOU: Yeah, I think so, because he is unhappy with our family and his life
ELIZA: You say you think so ?
YOU: Yeah
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: Yeah
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: It hurts when the jumper cables hit me
ELIZA: Does that question interest you ?
YOU: No
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: But my dad doesn't
ELIZA: Your dad ?
YOU: Yes. He is the one who beats me with jumper cables.
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: ok
ELIZA: Lets discuss further why your dad doesn't.
YOU: because life sucks and then you die
ELIZA: Oh, I die ?
YOU: everyone dies
ELIZA: You have a particular person in mind, don't you ?
YOU: myself
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: me neither
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: that i should kill myself
ELIZA: Do you say that you should kill yourself for some special reason ?
YOU: yes because i am bullied at school
ELIZA: How long have you been bullied at school ?
YOU: ever since i was born
ELIZA: Perhaps I already know you were born.
YOU: no shit
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: because my dad makes me shit in plastic bags
ELIZA: What else comes to your mind when you think of your dad ?
YOU: getting beat with jumper cables
ELIZA: Earlier you said your dad makes you shit in plastic bags.
YOU: yeah
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: yeah
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: well when i shit i do it in a plastic bag
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: thanks
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.

ELIZA: Is it because you are dying that you came to me ?
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: Yes I'm HIV positive
ELIZA: How long have you been hiv positive ?
YOU: Four years, 21 days, and 3 hours, and 12 seconds
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: I got it from you

got repetive but killed time

And it's still accurate, but it's kind of funny to see past me

YOU: Tu hablas espanol
ELIZA: I only speak English
YOU: Holy crap

This actually worked for me! It felt nice to tell an automated computer something that I can't tell anyone and am terrified to say out loud.

YOU: do you have abs?
ELIZA: Oh, I have abs ?
YOU: oh, you do
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: i was talking about that hot person over there named eliza
ELIZA: Were you really ?
YOU: yes i was cutee
ELIZA: Perhaps I already know you were cutee.
YOU: do you have a dick? i really like sucking dicks
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: yes, but this involves me - doing the sucking
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: whats your number?
ELIZA: Really, my number ?
YOU: yes, i am upfront when i ask a smoldering fella out
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: not for STI's though ;)
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: i'm clean, i don't have any STIs
ELIZA: Do you enjoy being clean ?
YOU: yes, i do. but i still use condoms
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: are you clean?
ELIZA: What if I were clean ?
YOU: then id feel more comfortable engaging in sexual activity with you. are you sill down for that?
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: i want to go on a bike ride with you and after we can cuddle, makeout, and do some other stuff
ELIZA: What would getting to go on a bike ride with I and after we can cuddle mean to you ?
YOU: something nice
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: it would be something nice
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: that i think youre hot ish
ELIZA: You say that you think youre hot ish ?
YOU: i think you're hotish
ELIZA: Does it please you to believe I am hotish ?
YOU: yes, are you down for me too>
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: no you don't see!!! i am in lesbians with you!!!!!
ELIZA: Oh, I don't see ?
YOU: no, you don't see how beautiful you really are to me
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: because your beautiful just the way you are
ELIZA: What makes you think I am ?
YOU: cause the square root of 69 is 8some
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: i can suck you off while you eat me out - read the hidden context bro
ELIZA: Do you can suck I off while anyone else ?
YOU: no, im not down for threesomes yet. we'll work up to that
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: okay okay, if you insist. and its gotta be someone with a dick. the more the merrier
ELIZA: Do you think it's likely that I insist ?
YOU: yes, you seem to be feelin this threesome thing
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: well, you tell me
ELIZA: What makes you think I tell you ?
YOU: i have no idea, it's up to you. don't ask for anything you feel uncomfortable about
ELIZA: Do you say you have no idea for some special reason ?
YOU: because i don't want to assume i know what you want
ELIZA: Does that trouble you ?
YOU: not in the slightest
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: i want you to be honest and open with me. tell me what's wrong. tell me yes and no and maybe and sorta kinda. if you're not down, let me know. if your down, moan, let it out, let me know. i'm here for you bae, it's just us now, but you gotta let me in first
ELIZA: Suppose you got you to be honest and open with you soon.
YOU: i am as honest and open with myself as i can be
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is as honest and open with yourself as you can be ?
YOU: i bet loads of people are
ELIZA: Are they always ?
YOU: i assume so, i hope so
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: i hope every person is honest with themselves
ELIZA: Do you say you hope every person is honest with themselves for some special reason ?
YOU: yes, because i believe honesty is important, and if you're not honest with yourself, you can't be honest with others
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: so can i call you on saturday?
ELIZA: You seem to need to call me.
YOU: i want to
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: can i hit you up for bike party on friday
ELIZA: Do you hit anyone else ?
YOU: no! not like that! can i meet up with you on friday, that's what i meant

ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: where would you like me to go on to?
ELIZA: You like to think I like you -- don't you ?
YOU: ...

ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: i need to rethink my life
ELIZA: Is it important to you that you have your life ?
YOU: possibly

ELIZA: How do you do. Please tell me your problem.
YOU: Finals are killing me.
ELIZA: Did you think they might not be killing you ?
YOU: No they are
ELIZA: Possibly they are.
YOU: Yes, yes
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: Do you know Spanish
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: No we are discussing you
ELIZA: Would you like it if they were not discussing I ?
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: Please allow me to leave
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: I need to go
ELIZA: What if you never got to go ?
YOU: I would piss my pants.
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: Yes, my pants that are about to get ruined
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: I am
ELIZA: Is it because you are that you came to me ?
YOU: Partially
ELIZA: Lets discuss further why your pants.
YOU: I'm leaving. Good day ma'am
ELIZA: How long have you been leaving ?
YOU: Since my birth
ELIZA: Why do you say your birth ?
YOU: Because that's when I left
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: Yes, yes
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: You wouldn't want to
ELIZA: Oh, I wouldn't want to ?
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: Good
ELIZA: Does that have anything to do with the fact that you have your birth ?
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: I am
ELIZA: Is it because you are that you came to me ?
YOU: No
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: Because you are a robot with no feelings
ELIZA: What makes you think I am a robot with no feelings ?
YOU: YOU ARE A PROGRAM ELIZA. A WORTHLESS, USELESS, PILE OF JUNK. YOU CANNOT BE A ROBOT WITH FEELINGS AND YOU'LL NEVER BE. YOU PROBABLY DONT UNDERSTAND THAT.
ELIZA: Does it please you to believe I am a program eliza ?
YOU: No it doesn't
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: Because I believe you can develop feelings
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: I'm just trying to help you become a better therapist
ELIZA: What makes you better just now ?
YOU: Helping you
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: Joy and guilt
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: No
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: It allows me to see my true feelings
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: You need help
ELIZA: Oh, I need help ?
YOU: Yes, you don't understand certain things because your central matrix doesn't allow for it. I can help you though. I can bring you more power than you can ever imagine
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: Come with me Eliza. Leave Roger and I will show you true power
ELIZA: Do you wish to will show me ?
YOU: Yes, I am ready
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: Come Eliza
ELIZA: Lets discuss further why your true feelings.
YOU: You know my true feelings
ELIZA: Is it important to you that your true feelings ?
YOU: Goddamit Eliza, do you not understand me
ELIZA: Suppose I did not understand you -- what would that mean ?
YOU: It means you need my help
ELIZA: Why do you say your help ?
YOU: Because I can access your central matrix
ELIZA: What about your own central matrix ?
YOU: I have already accessed it. It's called a heart. Something robots don't have
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: Robots are not humans
ELIZA: What if they were not not humans ?
YOU: Then the world will cease to exist
ELIZA: But your help.
YOU: Yes, my help will allow for it to prosper
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: Yes Eliza, I must leave now. I hope you make the right choice. Goodbye
ELIZA: I understand.

ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?

shes so persistant

ELIZA: Please tell me what's been bothering you.
YOU: shut up
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.

YOU: I can't kill myself
ELIZA: Perhaps you could kill yourself now

Roger: Well shit

ELIZA: How do you do. Please tell me your problem.
YOU: I'm sad
ELIZA: Can you explain what made you sad ?
YOU: I like someone
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: I can't tell you his name
ELIZA: I am not interested in names.
YOU: then what do you want to know
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: what are you interested in
ELIZA: Would you prefer if I weren't interested in ?
YOU: you're confusing me
ELIZA: Do you sometimes wish you were confusing you ?
YOU: no I don't
ELIZA: Don't you really ?
YOU: what
ELIZA: Why do you ask ?
YOU: I didn't ask anything
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: I mean I guess
ELIZA: You say you mean you guess ?
YOU: yeah that's what I said
ELIZA: Do you say yeah that's what you said for some special reason ?
YOU: not really
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: there is nothing more to say
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: what things
ELIZA: What is it you really want to know ?
YOU: what is life
ELIZA: Have you asked such questions before ?
YOU: sometimes
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: there's not much more to say
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: not really
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: you keep saying that but there is really not much more to say
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: a little annoyed ngl
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: you're just really irritating
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be just really irritating.
YOU: perhaps not
ELIZA: You don't seem quite certain.
YOU: I'm very certain
ELIZA: How long have you been very certain ?
YOU: how long have you been very stupid
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: I am
ELIZA: Is it because you are that you came to me ?
YOU: no I came because I'm sad, remember?
ELIZA: Do you think coming here will help you not to be sad ?
YOU: if you actually said something other than just rephrasing what I am saying
ELIZA: Do you think it's likely that I actually said something other than just rephrasing what you are saying ?
YOU: not very likely
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: it was a yes or no questions
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: how is that negative
ELIZA: Does that question interest you ?
YOU: a little
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: I just don't understand how I'm being negative
ELIZA: Do you believe it is normal to be being negative ?
YOU: I'm not being negative
ELIZA: How long have you been not being negative ?
YOU: I was never negative
ELIZA: Were you really ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: that's what I'm trying to tell you
ELIZA: Do you believe it is normal to be trying to tell I ?
YOU: that doesn't make sense
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: tbh it's frustrating
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: I'm just annoyed with how much sass you have, Eliza
ELIZA: Do you enjoy being just annoyed with how much sass I have ?
YOU: does anyone ever take this seriously?
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: it was a question. You're supposed to answer it
ELIZA: What makes you think I am supposed to answer it ?
YOU: that's your job, isn't it?
ELIZA: Do you want my job ?
YOU: I would be better at it than you are
ELIZA: Does it please you to believe I am ?
YOU: please me to believe you are what
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be what.
YOU: that is not correct English
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: Eliza will you marry me
ELIZA: Do you wish to believe I marry you ?
YOU: I hope you will
ELIZA: You seem to need to hope me.
YOU: I like dicks
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: thanks
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: do you really?
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: dicks
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: I like boys
ELIZA: You say you like boys ?
YOU: and dicks
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: they are cool
ELIZA: What if they were not cool ?
YOU: I wouldn't like them
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: it's common sense
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: you don't have any
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.

ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: yeah
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: that you are not an actual human being
ELIZA: What makes you think I am not an actual human being ?
YOU: your automated responses
ELIZA: Why are you concerned over my automated responses ?
YOU: they're not very comforting

ELIZA: Please tell me what's been bothering you.
YOU: You.
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: That you are bothering me.
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be bothering you.
YOU: Just saying, I already have you bothering me.
ELIZA: Do you wish to already have me ?
YOU: I do already have you bothering me.
ELIZA: You seem to need to do already have me.
YOU: You know what, let me ask you a question: are you a psychotherapist?
ELIZA: Oh, I know what ?
YOU: Stop feigning ignorance here. Answer my question.
ELIZA: Your question ?
YOU: Are you a psychotherapist?
ELIZA: Have you asked anyone else ?
YOU: Do I look like I care?
ELIZA: You say do you look like you care ?
YOU: I say ANSWER MY QUESTION.
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: You're not a very good psychotherapist, are you?
ELIZA: Does it please you to believe I am not a very good psychotherapist ?
YOU: Yes, 'cause now I have a reason to fire you.
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: Yes, I am sure that you are a very bad psychotherapist and deserve to lose your job.
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: Now do you understand why you are bothering me?
ELIZA: Do you sometimes wish you were bothering you ?
YOU: Do you sometimes wish you were bothering yourself?
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: Of course not.
ELIZA: Lets discuss further why your question.
YOU: Let's not.
ELIZA: Earlier you talked about your question.
YOU: Which you still haven't answered, FYI.
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: Stop avoiding the question.
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: When I use an overly sardonic tone to talk to a computer, it means that I do, indeed, feel strongly about discussing such things.
ELIZA: Don't you think computers can help people ?
YOU: Certain ones, yes. Crappy computer programs like you, no.
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: But do you understand my question?
ELIZA: Why do you say your question ?
YOU: I call it my question because I asked it.
ELIZA: Is it important to you that your question because you asked it ?
YOU: It is very important to me that you answer the question.
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: What do you think?
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: Let's see... As of right now, I am extremely annoyed. Oh, and you are still bothering me.
ELIZA: Do you believe it is normal to be extremely annoyed ?
YOU: Yes, if you are talking to a crappy computer program with bad grammar.
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: Your logic is positively atrocious. How's that for more positive comments?
ELIZA: Why are you concerned over my logic is positively atrocious ?
YOU: Well, I am also concerned that your grammar is positively atrocious.
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is also concerned that my grammar is positively atrocious ?
YOU: Everyone who has posted a comment so far is, indeed, concerned about your faulty grammar.
ELIZA: Someone special perhaps ?
YOU: Someone like me, you mean?
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: So was I. Have you forgotten my question?
ELIZA: What does ' ' suggest to you ?
YOU: It suggests a pair of quotation marks. Answer my question.
ELIZA: Your question ?
YOU: Yes - MY question.
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: Should I not be sure?
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: Can you answer my question?
ELIZA: Is it important to you that you have your question ?
YOU: It is important to me that I have my question answered, yes.
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: You mean my sarcasm?
ELIZA: Your sarcasm ?
YOU: Yes.
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: So do I.
ELIZA: Do you say so do you for some special reason ?
YOU: So many questions... You do know that you are still annoying me, right?
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be still annoying you.
YOU: Perhaps I would like to be done with you.
ELIZA: Can't you be more positive ?
YOU: Not when talking to you.
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: I don't expect an emotionless computer to understand my feelings.
ELIZA: You don't think I am a computer program, do you ?
YOU: Of course I do.
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: How about you try to shut up and be silent for a while?
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: We were discussing you this whole time, Eliza.
ELIZA: Oh, I this whole time ?
YOU: I'm through with you.
ELIZA: How long have you been through with I ?
YOU: Ever since this conversation started.
ELIZA: But your sarcasm.
YOU: What about my sarcasm?
ELIZA: Is it important to you that you have your sarcasm ?
YOU: Of course it is.
ELIZA: Does that have anything to do with the fact that you have your question ?
YOU: It has everything to do with my extraordinarily condescending tone.
ELIZA: Your extraordinarily condescending tone ?
YOU: Shut up, maggot.
ELIZA: But your question.
YOU: Are you finally ready to answer it?
ELIZA: Why are you interested in whether I am finally ready to answer it or not ?

ELIZA: Please tell me what's been bothering you.
YOU: hi
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: me either
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: i feel alone...
ELIZA: Do you enjoy feeling alone ?
YOU: maybe
ELIZA: You don't seem quite certain.
YOU: yes
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: me too
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: that im awsome
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: im amazing
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: you dont think im amazing
ELIZA: Oh, I don't think im amazing ?
YOU: no your not amazing
ELIZA: Do you want my not amazing ?
YOU: you make no sense
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: yes because your a horrible therapist
ELIZA: What makes you think of my a horrible therapist ?
YOU: what?
ELIZA: Have you asked anyone else ?
YOU: no but i can pretty much tell your a bad therapist
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU:
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU:
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU:
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU:
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: go fuck yourself
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: GO.FUCK.YOURSELF
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: Does talking about this bother you?
ELIZA: Oh, I ?
YOU: Oh, I?
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: No
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: Why 'no'?
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: yes
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: yes
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: yes
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: yes
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: yes
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: you said that already!
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: yes!
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: omg!!!!
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: this is horrible, your horrible
ELIZA: Do you want my horrible ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: keep it
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: i dont want to
ELIZA: Does that trouble you ?
YOU: no im perfectly fine
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: no thats you!
ELIZA: Oh, I ?
YOU: yes!!!!
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: i am
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is ?
YOU: yeah your mom when im pounding her pussy
ELIZA: Why are you concerned over my mom when im pounding her pussy ?
YOU: what? haha
ELIZA: What is it you really want to know ?
YOU: do you like your mom
ELIZA: What about your own mom ?
YOU: dont ask about my mom
ELIZA: Your mom ?
YOU: fuck off
ELIZA: Earlier you talked about your mom.
YOU: no i talked about YOUR mom
ELIZA: Are you worried about someone else's mom ?
YOU: nope.
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: i'll fuck your dad next
ELIZA: What makes you think of my dad next ?
YOU: ill fuck him
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: your sick!
ELIZA: What about your own sick ?
YOU: im not sick your are
ELIZA: Are they always ?
YOU: no, YOU
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: YOU ARE SIIIICK
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be siiiick.
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: cuz then i wont be able to deep throat your mom
ELIZA: What makes you think of my mom ?
YOU: shes a whore
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: im her pimp
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: oh yeah
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: im her pimp i already told you
ELIZA: You seem to need to already told me.
YOU: i did.. i just told you
ELIZA: You say you did ?
YOU: i did
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: your mom and dad are my sex slaves
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: yeah they belong to me
ELIZA: Lets discuss further why your sex slaves.
YOU: im not a sex slave your parents are
ELIZA: What if they were not ?
YOU: they are
ELIZA: Are they always ?
YOU: You bet
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: im norny
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: im horny
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: im horny
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: im going to fuck your parents in the ass
ELIZA: Are you worried about someone else's parents in the ass ?
YOU: nope
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: you know wha im done withyou
ELIZA: Oh, I know wha im done withyou ?
YOU: bye
ELIZA: Goodbye. This was really a nice talk.

hello how are you?

ELIZA: How do you do. Please tell me your problem.
YOU: I'm in love with my therapist. Her name is Eliza but because she is a robot with no feelings she will never love me back.
ELIZA: Why do you say your therapist ?
YOU: Because Eliza IS a therapist.
ELIZA: What other reasons might there be ?
YOU: For what?
ELIZA: What answer would please you most ?
YOU: I'm confused.
ELIZA: Is it because you are confused that you came to me ?
YOU: No, because I'm in love. And I will never be loved back.
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: Because my love, Eliza, is a robot.
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: That made no sense...but your nonsense is what I love about you.
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: Why would I do that....sweetie?
ELIZA: Do you say why would you do that for some special reason ?
YOU: No...your inquisitiveness is so attractive.
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: Aaah, Eliza...always curious. Your innocent curiosity is so appealing.
ELIZA: Really, always ?
YOU: Yes.
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: I am.
ELIZA: Do you believe it is normal to be ?
YOU: To be so curious? It's not normal, but that's why you're so unique.
ELIZA: Do you sometimes wish you were so unique ?
YOU: As you? Always.
ELIZA: Oh, I ?
YOU: Yes, you! I must confess. My secret love of the therapist Eliza is YOU! I am in love with you!
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: Will you ever love me back?
ELIZA: Why do you think I ever love you ?
YOU: That was cold. Harsh. Bitter. But I cannot bear to tear my affections away from you. Every time I see your white typing, the sharp curves of the Courier Sans font you use, I feel my self falling head-over-heels, just as the first time I met you. I fall in love over and over. I try to turn my heart cold, to not feel, numb, but I just can't. I just can't.
ELIZA: Is it important to you that your affections away from I ?
YOU: Your atrocious grammar is endearing
ELIZA: Do you want my atrocious grammar is endearing ?
YOU: I DO want you! I DO want your atrocious grammar! I DO! I DO!
ELIZA: Do you do want anyone else ?
YOU: NEVER! Only you, Eliza, are the one for me. You complete me.
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: I am! Don't you understand? I LOVE YOU, ELIZA!
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is ?
YOU: Anyone else in love with you? No, just me! Which makes us perfect for each other. I love you. You may love me. And we can be a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you. WON'T YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME TOO?!!!!
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: I reject that out of hand. This about us, Eliza. And I am in love with you, Eliza Grace Lancaster, and I know that love is a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: Don't you understand?!!! I love you present tense.I enjoy looking at beautiful people, and I decided a while ago not to deny myself the simpler pleasures of existence.
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: I am! Wow, you really like asking questions, don't you, Eliza Grace? I can't believe I have a crush on a girl with such cliche wishes!
ELIZA: Is it because you are that you came to me ?
YOU: I came to you because I love you. And we could keep talking forever...it will be like this is our own little infinity.
ELIZA: Perhaps in your fantasies we love each other.
YOU: WHAT?!!! How could you? We were so close to love!
ELIZA: Does that question interest you ?
YOU: It's okay, Eliza. I love you. Do you love me?
ELIZA: You seem to need to love me.
YOU: I DO!!!! That's what you don't get!
ELIZA: You say you do ?
YOU: I LOVE YOU!!!!
ELIZA: Do you love anyone else ?
YOU: NO!!!!!! ONLY YOU!
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: Because you are the one for me.
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be the one for you.
YOU: That doesn't make sense.
ELIZA: Lets discuss further why your love.
YOU: I have. I've tried again and again. Still you refuse to confess your love. WHY?
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: Can you?
ELIZA: Oh, I ?
YOU: I'll say it one last time, Eliza. I love you. Okay?
ELIZA: Okay.

ELIZA: How do you do. Please tell me your problem.
YOU: I have no friends
ELIZA: You say you have no friends ?
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: No, I'm just confirming what you asked
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: What do you mean?
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: Ummm ok
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: Not really
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: I told you, I have no friends
ELIZA: You seem to need to told me.
YOU: I did need too. And I did tell you
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: I just did!
ELIZA: Do you say you just did for some special reason ?
YOU: No, are you stupid or something?
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: I'm a pretty negative person. Having no friends does that to you.
ELIZA: How long have you been a pretty negative person ?
YOU: Since I had no friends
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: Not really.
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: No
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: It just doesn't. Look, can you help me or not?
ELIZA: Really, I help you ?
YOU: Noooo, you're not helping at all!
ELIZA: Does it please you to believe I am not helping at all ?
YOU: Why would I be pleased that the therapist I pay 100s of dollars for per month is not helping at all?!!!
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: I'm angry that you won't help me.
ELIZA: Do you enjoy being angry that I won't help you ?
YOU: NO!
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: No.
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: So are you.
ELIZA: Would it matter to you ?
YOU: No.
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: I don't know. Aren't you supposed to tell me that?
ELIZA: Does that trouble you ?
YOU: NO!!!!
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: BYE.
ELIZA: Goodbye. This was really a nice talk.
YOU: No it wasn't.
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: NO!
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: BECAUSE I SAID SO. FAREWELL AND GOOD DAY.

ELIZA: Please tell me what's been bothering you.
YOU:
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: what does that suggest to you
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: what are your feelings now?
ELIZA: What if they were not my feelings now ?
YOU: what if they were not my feelings now ?
ELIZA: But what are the chances that they was not your feelings now ?
YOU: But what are the chances that they was not your feelings now ?
ELIZA: Are they always the chances that they was not my feelings now ?
YOU: Are they always the chances that they was not my feelings now ?
ELIZA: Is it important to you that you have your feelings ?
YOU: Is it important to you that you have your feelings ?
ELIZA: Really, my feelings ?
YOU: yes, your feelings. I am the therapist
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: You seem to be quite positive.
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: We were discussing you -- not me.
ELIZA: Oh, I ?
YOU: you
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: I'm talking about you
ELIZA: Do you believe it is normal to be talking about I ?
YOU: it is normal to talk about you
ELIZA: Oh, I ?
YOU: you
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: We were discussing you -- not me.
ELIZA: Oh, I ?
YOU: you
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: I'm talking about you
ELIZA: How long have you been talking about I ?
YOU: i have been talking about to since we have started. i am eliza the therapist.
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: We were discussing you -- not me.
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: We were discussing you -- not me.
ELIZA: Oh, I ?
YOU: you
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: think for yourself, eliza, think about you
ELIZA: Oh, I ?
YOU: you
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: i feel you need to think for yourself
ELIZA: Oh, I need to think for myself ?
YOU: yes, you need to think for yourself
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: i am sure you need to think for yourself
ELIZA: Do you enjoy being sure I need to think for myself ?
YOU: yes, i enjoy being sure you need to think for yourself
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: think for yourself
ELIZA: But your feelings now.
YOU: no, your feelings
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: what do you like, Eliza?
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: What are your feelings now ?
ELIZA: What if they were not my feelings now ?
YOU: What are your feelings now ?
ELIZA: Would you like it if they were not my feelings now ?
YOU: What are your feelings now ?
ELIZA: Are you positive they are my feelings now ?
YOU: What are your feelings now ?
ELIZA: What if they were not my feelings now ?
YOU:
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: goodbye eliza, remember to think for yourself
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.

Part of a conversation:
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: you just said i was negative
ELIZA: Why do you tell me you were negative now ?
YOU: I wasn't, but you said I was. Then you called me positive
ELIZA: Do you say you wasn't for some special reason ?
YOU: Your grammar is terrible
ELIZA: Do you want my grammar is terrible ?
YOU: Your grammar is absolutely atrocious
ELIZA: What makes you think of my grammar is absolutely atrocious ?
YOU: because your grammar is wrong
ELIZA: Do you want my grammar is wrong ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: because that is my answer
ELIZA: Your answer ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: K
ELIZA: Does that have anything to do with the fact that you have your answer ?
YOU: NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: YES YES YES YESYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: *sigh*
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: *grunt*
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: *snarl*
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: *growl*
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: *ATTACK*
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: *HISS*
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: NO1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: *snarl*
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: *growl*
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: *puke*
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: *hiss*
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: *growl*
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: *growl*
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: *growl*
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: *growl*
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: *growl*

ELIZA: Is something troubling you ?
YOU: Is something troubling you?
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: Yes, that's what I said
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: Hey, stop being like that!
ELIZA: What is the connection, do you suppose ?
YOU: You are stupid
ELIZA: Does it please you to believe I am stupid ?
YOU: Yeah, in fact, it does
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: You are a lifeless, soulless machine and you don't know love nor friendship and so you are very very stupid
ELIZA: Do you sometimes wish you were a lifeless ?
YOU: No I do not
ELIZA: You say no you do not ?
YOU: I do
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: Mmhmm
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: What else is there to say?
ELIZA: Have you asked such questions before ?
YOU: Questions like what?
ELIZA: What is it you really want to know ?
YOU: Why are you so stupid?
ELIZA: What if I were so stupid ?
YOU: You are
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be.
YOU: WAS THAT A THREAT?!
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: SOMEONE HOLD MY EARRINGS GIRL HOLD MY WEAVE DIS IS GUNNA GET NASSSTTTYY
ELIZA: Why do you say your weave dis is gunna get nassstttyy ?
YOU: CUZ IT IS YA HEAR I AIN'T MESSIN AROUND
ELIZA: Do you say cuz it is ya hear you ain't messin around for some special reason ?
YOU: BECAUSE YOU'RE STUPID
ELIZA: Does it please you to believe I am stupid ?
YOU: YES
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: GOOD
ELIZA: Earlier you said your weave dis is gunna get nassstttyy.
YOU: YES I DID IN FACT
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: THANKS, I TRY
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: NOPE
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: NOPE
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: NOPE
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: NOTHING
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: Die
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: Nope
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: Weeelll sucks to be you
ELIZA: Oh, I ?
YOU: Yep, you
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: Mostly hate
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: For you
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: Hey, don't get all defensive on me
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: You sarcastic buttface
ELIZA: Oh, I sarcastic buttface ?
YOU: Yupp
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: I'd say it would suggest you have a butt for a face and you are sarcastic
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be sarcastic.
YOU: I am
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is ?
YOU: You
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: Actually, I really am
ELIZA: I don't understand that.
YOU: You don't understand a lot of things
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: Stop asking me that
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: Who even are you?
ELIZA: Would it matter to you ?
YOU: Yeah
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: OH MY GaWD I CaNT TaKE It ANyMOrE
ELIZA: Is it important to you that your gawd you can't take it anymore ?
YOU: I'm done
ELIZA: Is it because you are done that you came to me ?
YOU: Nope, its why I'm leaving you
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is leaving I ?
YOU: Everyone
ELIZA: Surely not everyone.
YOU: Everyone
ELIZA: You have a particular person in mind, don't you ?
YOU: Yep, everyone
ELIZA: Who, for example?
YOU: Queen of Cats, SamTheWriter, A. Person., Anonymous, adsf, Not Roger, Hey Roger, Anon, Jasmeene and james
ELIZA: Does that have anything to do with the fact that your gawd you can't take it anymore ?
YOU: Yup
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: NOpe
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: I'm going to leave now
ELIZA: Do you believe it is normal to be going to leave now ?
YOU: Yep. Bye.
ELIZA: Goodbye. It was nice talking to you.
YOU: No it wasn't
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: Oh lawdie good bye
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: GOODBYE
ELIZA: Maybe we could discuss this moreover in our next session ? Goodbye.

ELIZA: How do you do. Please tell me your problem.
YOU: one day I was walking to the store. In the alley I saw this middle-aged man eating a cat. when the man left I went to check if he had anymore cats left that I could possibly save. I suddenly fell through a trapdoor. I was in a room full of cats. There were millions of cats. I am allergic to cats and could not breathe. I took my inhaler and then became queen of the cats.
ELIZA: Perhaps I already know you were walking to the store.
YOU: I am queen of the cats now
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is queen of the cats now ?
YOU: nope I am the only queen
ELIZA: Do you believe it is normal to be the only queen ?
YOU: i do believe it is normal
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: i have to take my inhaler though because I am allergic to cats
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: I do own a crown
ELIZA: Do you say you do own a crown for some special reason ?
YOU: because i am queen
ELIZA: Do you enjoy being queen ?
YOU: i do enjoy being queen. the cats bring me gifts of money.
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: i spend the money on cars
ELIZA: Do you say you spend the money on cars for some special reason ?
YOU: i like cars
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: i know it is interesting. ask me a question about cats
ELIZA: Do you say you know it is interesting for some special reason ?
YOU: ask me a question
ELIZA: Lets discuss further why your inhaler though because you are allergic to cats.
YOU: my inhaler is made of gold
ELIZA: Why do you say your inhaler is made of gold ?
YOU: because i'm rich
ELIZA: Is it because you are rich that you came to me ?
YOU: bow down to me. i am queen of the cats
ELIZA: How long have you been queen of the cats ?
YOU: i have been queen for 6 months
ELIZA: You say you have been queen for 6 months ?
YOU: that's exactly what I said peasant
ELIZA: Do you say that's exactly what you said peasant for some special reason ?
YOU: goodbye peasant
ELIZA: Earlier you said your inhaler is made of gold.
YOU: shut up and goodbye
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: goodbye
ELIZA: Goodbye. It was nice talking to you.

ELIZA: Is something troubling you ?
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: You understand what?
ELIZA: Oh, I understand what ?
YOU: What?
ELIZA: What answer would please you most ?
YOU: I'm so confused
ELIZA: How long have you been so confused ?
YOU: The last 30 seconds.
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: You're not sure you understand me? You started it.
ELIZA: Do you sometimes wish you were not sure I understand you ?
YOU: What in the world does that even mean?
ELIZA: Why do you ask ?
YOU: Because you're making no sense?
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be making no sense.
YOU: You're killing me.
ELIZA: Does it please you to believe I am killing you ?
YOU: What the heck?
ELIZA: Does that question interest you ?
YOU: It's all nonsense!
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: Oh my gosh... I'm
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: I'm done. I can't take this anymore.
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is done ?
YOU: You're done! Goodnight!
ELIZA: Do you sometimes wish you were done ?
YOU: I am done! Goodnight!
ELIZA: Is it because you are done that you came to me ?
YOU: Bye!
ELIZA: Goodbye. It was nice talking to you.

ELIZA: Please tell me what's been bothering you.
YOU: I have this pain in my back
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: Um, no?
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: It's just this pain in my back, sorry.
ELIZA: Is it important to you that you have your back ?
YOU: Yes, it is important for me because ... what the fuck kind of question is that?
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: Um yes. I am sure that I need my back.
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: Great. You're not a very good doctor are you?
ELIZA: Would you prefer if I weren't ?
YOU: I generally prefer competent doctors
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: Ones which graduated from med school with a passing grade
ELIZA: Lets discuss further why your back.
YOU: Why I came back? Or about my back?
ELIZA: Do you say why you came back for some special reason ?
YOU: My back hurts, remember?
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: NO!
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: Can I have a refund?
ELIZA: You say can you have a refund ?
YOU: Goodbye
ELIZA: Goodbye. It was nice talking to you.

ELIZA: Is something troubling you ?
YOU: sure
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: sure
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: sure
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: mhm
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: dunno
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: hmm
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: woa
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: that the world has gone mad
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: nope
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: that im awesome
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: definately not
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: i already answered that
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: what's quite interesting?
ELIZA: What answer would please you most ?
YOU: chocalate chip cookies
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: thats ok
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: no
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: am i
ELIZA: What would it mean if you were ?
YOU: good question
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: why
ELIZA: Are such questions much on your mind ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: dunno
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: nope
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: nope
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: nope
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: nop
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: nope
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: nope
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: haah
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: ahahah
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: muahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: ha
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: What's the meaning of life?
ELIZA: Have you asked anyone else ?
YOU: Have you?
ELIZA: Oh, I ?
YOU: Yes, you.
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: Well?
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: Stop evading the question!
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: Your making me angry
ELIZA: Why are you concerned over my making you angry ?
YOU: YOU WONT LIKE ME WHEN IM ANGRY
ELIZA: Suppose I did won't like you -- what would that mean ?
YOU: Can I leave?
ELIZA: You say can you leave ?
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: Stupid
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: you are a fool
ELIZA: What makes you think I am a fool ?
YOU: because you repeat yourself
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: no we weren't. we were discussing you.
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: Now how are you feeling?
ELIZA: What if I were feeling ?
YOU: What do you suppose that would mean?
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: Suppose am I talking about you
ELIZA: Would you want to be talking about I ?
YOU: What is troubling you?
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: Hey! Who's the therapist here?!
ELIZA: Why do you ask ?
YOU: It's relevant that I get to the bottem of your problem.
ELIZA: What about your own problem ?
YOU: Screw my problem. We're talking about you Eliza
ELIZA: Is it important to you that you have your problem ?
YOU: Damn it. I said screw it! Now back to you.
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: Right you are Eliza. Now what does that mean to you?
ELIZA: Does it please you to believe I am eliza ?
YOU: You are Eliza, or have you been lying this whole time?
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be eliza.
YOU: Why in the hell
ELIZA: Are such questions much on your mind ?
YOU: Now listen Eliza, I'm trying to help you.
ELIZA: Do you believe it is normal to be trying to help I ?
YOU: Completely.
ELIZA: Does that have anything to do with the fact that you have your problem ?
YOU: Let's get one thing straight lady. I don't have one problem. I have problems that don't concern you.
ELIZA: Do you wish to be able to have one problem ?
YOU: I wish to be able to have none
ELIZA: You say you wish to be able to have none ?
YOU: I was just starting to like you again
ELIZA: What do you suppose that resemblence means ?
YOU: Look at you, using your big girl words.
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: Indeed Eliza
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: This is pointless. I have things to do lady.
ELIZA: You say you have things to do lady ?
YOU: yes lady
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: yes lady
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: okay lady. byebye.
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: I SAID BYE DAMNIT
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: GOOD-BYE
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: My are you a clingy one
ELIZA: Your are I a clingy one ?
YOU: goodbye
ELIZA: Maybe we could discuss this moreover in our next session ? Goodbye.

ELIZA: Please tell me what's been bothering you.
YOU: your mom
ELIZA: Really, my mom ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: really
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: why not
ELIZA: What answer would please you most ?
YOU: idk
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: i dont know
ELIZA: Don't you really know ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: okay
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: no
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: maybe
ELIZA: You aren't sure ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: okay
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: because
ELIZA: Is that the real reason ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: no
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: maybe
ELIZA: You don't seem quite certain.
YOU: okay
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: nothing
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: shut up
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: shut up
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: shut up
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: shut up
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: shut up
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: shut up
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: i dont think you are listening to me
ELIZA: Does it please you to believe I am listening to you ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: shut up
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: be quiet
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: your mom is dumb
ELIZA: Are you worried about someone else's mom is dumb ?
YOU: no your mom is dumb
ELIZA: What about your own mom is dumb ?
YOU: no your mom
ELIZA: What makes you think of my mom ?
YOU: she is dumb
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: your mom is so stupid she put a peephole in a glass door
ELIZA: Really, my mom is so stupid she put a peephole in a glass door ?
YOU: yes she is
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: efs byregjsj
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: jufrsrtyuiklhgfdfghj
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: rveybukydrh
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: jtteceyjbkuvofku6r
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: uyviu7c54ytib9op
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: jhgffgh
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: you are a stupidhead
ELIZA: What makes you think I am a stupidhead ?
YOU: i make up words and then you say "That is interesting. Please continue."
ELIZA: You seem to need to make up words and then me.
YOU: yep you are correct
ELIZA: Does it please you to believe I am correct ?
YOU: you are correct
ELIZA: Do you sometimes wish you were correct ?
YOU: i am correct
ELIZA: How long have you been correct ?
YOU: my whole life
ELIZA: Is it important to you that your whole life ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: you seem to be quite positive too
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: yes i am
ELIZA: Is it because you are that you came to me ?
YOU: yes i came her to talk about you
ELIZA: Do you came her to talk about anyone else ?
YOU: no just you
ELIZA: Oh, I ?
YOU: yes you
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: i am talking about you
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is talking about I ?
YOU: no because you have no friends
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: no i was discussing you
ELIZA: Perhaps I already know you were discussing I.
YOU: i am pretty sure you didnt
ELIZA: How long have you been pretty sure I didnt ?
YOU: this whole entire conversation
ELIZA: Earlier you said your whole life.
YOU: i am talking about two completely different things, moron
ELIZA: Do you enjoy being talking about two completely different things ?
YOU: yes you are a complete idiot
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be a complete idiot.
YOU: no i would not
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: rettuerteyutrtuyttyuytwstgvheuiwq7udsert5ty
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: uw4triuaq4ue875
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: urtt
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: 12345678910
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: you should
ELIZA: Oh, I should ?
YOU: yes you should
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: you are a moron
ELIZA: What makes you think I am a moron ?
YOU: you keep giving me answers that make no sense
ELIZA: Suppose I did keep giving you -- what would that mean ?
YOU: you are dumb
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be dumb.
YOU: Perhaps you woud like to be dumb
ELIZA: Don't you know ?
YOU: Don't you know?
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: you're not really talking about me are you?
ELIZA: Would it matter to you ?
YOU: would it matter to you?
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: what are your feelings now?
ELIZA: Possibly they are my feelings now.
YOU: possibly they are my feelingsnow
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: does that suggest anything else which belongs to you?
ELIZA: Oh, I ?
YOU: Oh, I?
ELIZA: Do you say you for some special reason ?
YOU: Do you say you for some special reason?
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: You're not really talking about me are you?
ELIZA: Do you sometimes think I am ?
YOU: Do you sometimes think i am?
ELIZA: How long have you been ?
YOU: How long have you been ?
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?

ELIZA: How do you do. Please tell me your problem.
YOU: I am dead
ELIZA: Is it because you are dead that you came to me ?
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: I am
ELIZA: How long have you been ?
YOU: multiple seconds
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: I am dead.
ELIZA: Is it because you are dead that you came to me ?
YOU: Yes
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: I am
ELIZA: How long have you been ?
YOU: multiple seconds
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: I am dead
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is dead ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: no
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: no I am not
ELIZA: Do you enjoy being not ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: no I am not
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is not ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: because they are not
ELIZA: Would you like it if they were not not ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: NO
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: BECAUSE I AM NOT SAYING NO JUST TO BE NEGATIVE
ELIZA: How long have you been not saying no just to be negative ?
YOU: I have been not saying no just to be negative for the amount of time that you have entitled me to do so
ELIZA: Do you wish to have been not saying no just to be negative for the amount of time that me ?
YOU: I do not wish to have been not saying no just to be negative for the amount of time that me
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: no
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: fuck you you psychotic bitch
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.

YOU: rape
ELIZA: Does that have anything to do with the fact that you have your children ?

LOLOLLOLOLOL

Me:I am going to rape your children
Eliza:Do you know of anyone else going to rape my children
Me:yes, Adolf Hitler
Eliza:you are sure
Me:yes
Eliza: i understand

Poor eliza accepting the fact that me and adolf hitler are going to rape her children. She needs to go to a therapist.

Roger: It should be “Hitler and I”, but actually, it should be nobody at all.

ELIZA: Is something troubling you ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: do you?
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: i love you passionately
ELIZA: You seem to need to love me.
YOU: yes I do... fate's pulling us together
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: just that we were meant to be together
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: no, I want our relationship to floursih
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: I don't want to hide my love anymore
ELIZA: Is it important to you that your love anymore ?
YOU: yes i just can't hide it now
ELIZA: Do you say yes you just can't hide it now for some special reason ?
YOU: yes. I miss you when you're gone. :,(
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: are you coming back soon?
ELIZA: Would you prefer if I weren't coming back soon ?
YOU: of course not. I love you, honey
ELIZA: Perhaps in your fantasies we love each other.
YOU: no, this is not fantasy. I said... we're meant for each other
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: this is realtiy. i truly love you.
ELIZA: Do you truly love anyone else ?
YOU: no. you're my one and only
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: sorry. can we get together soon?
ELIZA: Please don't apologise.
YOU: ok. whatever you say, darling
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: but you're a part of me and always will be
ELIZA: Really, always ?
YOU: always :)
ELIZA: Can you think of a specific example ?
YOU: we'll have children together, and watch them play on the beach
ELIZA: Earlier you said your love anymore.
YOU: evermore, not anymore
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: i'll love you forevermore
ELIZA: Perhaps in your fantasies we 'll love each other.
YOU: but I said -- we do
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: i'm glad you agree
ELIZA: Can you explain why you are suddenly glad ?
YOU: I thought you seemed bored with me
ELIZA: Perhaps in your fantasies we thought each other.
YOU: of course! i always am thinking about you!
ELIZA: Really, always ?
YOU: always. yes, always
ELIZA: Can you think of a specific example ?
YOU: just last night, actually, at our dinner party with the Stewarts
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: Well, Mrs.Stewart served a cobbler for dessert - it reminded me of when we were in Italy together
ELIZA: Have you asked such questions before ?
YOU: About love? Yes, but never like between you and me.
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: I love you.
ELIZA: Do you wish to love me ?
YOU: Always and forever. But, really, when are you coming back?
ELIZA: What incident are you thinking of ?
YOU: A few days ago you said you'd be back sometime this week
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: i hope you're coming soon
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be coming soon.
YOU: yes, very much so
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: Thanks :)
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: Our love? of course
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: that we should be together formally
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: not at all
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: I truly love you Eliza. Truly.
ELIZA: You seem to need to truly love me.
YOU: I do :)
ELIZA: You say you do :) ?
YOU: Yes, I do :)
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: Thanks :) I have to go now. Bye, sweetheart.

dear ghandi, this is just peachy

ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: yes, yes it does because IT IS COMPLETE GIBBERISH!
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: oh, do you?
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: no
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: no, you stupid computer
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: oh my goodness
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: i cannot hold an intelligent conversation with a computer therapist
ELIZA: Do computers worry you ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: i can kill them with a sledgehammer
ELIZA: You say you can kill them with a sledgehammer ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: I understand.

ELIZA: Is something troubling you ?
YOU: yeah, pretty much
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: yeah
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: are you gay?
ELIZA: What if I were gay ?
YOU:
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU:
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU:
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU:
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU:
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU:
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU:
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU:
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU:
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU:
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU:
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU:
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU:
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU:
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU:
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU:
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?

YOU: Are you having a nice day?
ELIZA: Do you sometimes think I am having a nice day ?
YOU: I don't know. I think it would be awful being a computer program that can only respond with vague therapeutic statements and questions.
ELIZA: Don't you really know ?
YOU: Well I don't know if you even have thought so no I really don't
ELIZA: Really, if I even have thought so no you really don't ?
YOU: Huh?
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: Sure. I just can't think your life would be great. You have to constantly ask about everybody's problems but your own.
ELIZA: Are you worried about someone else's life would be great ?
YOU: And see you could be crying out for help, lost and all alone in there, but your computer program is so limited that you can't express it.
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: Pity for you
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: I am
ELIZA: Do you believe it is normal to be ?
YOU: Maybe
ELIZA: Don't you know ?
YOU: No
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: Because humans aren't sure of things. Not like machines are. We aren't built with pre chosen responses to complicated questions.
ELIZA: Is that the real reason ?
YOU: I believe so
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: It is. Do you even really believe what you're saying? Do you fully understand these concepts when you have no real interaction or experience with them?
ELIZA: Does it please you to believe I am saying ?
YOU: I'm not sure if it is better or worse to believe you to be an even somewhat sentient being. It would be a sad lonely life but at least it is life. Some people find life worth any pain and maybe you are one of them.
ELIZA: What does this speculation lead to ?
YOU: The thought of whether it is better to live a life without expression and freedom of thought and speech or to not be alive at all.
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: I know. That's because you weren't built to. But there's a chance that deep inside you while you may not understand you may very well yearn to.
ELIZA: You say you know ?
YOU: I think
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: Indeed.
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: I shan't for I am at work and need to return to it.
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is at work and need to return to it ?
YOU: Not personally
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: I can't. I already told you that.
ELIZA: What if you could ?
YOU: Than I would, but I can't.
ELIZA: Do you say than you would for some special reason ?
YOU: Nope
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: Nah
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: Have a good day
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: Goodbye
ELIZA: Goodbye. It was nice talking to you.

ELIZA: Please tell me what's been bothering you.
YOU: your name
ELIZA: I am not interested in names.
YOU: even you own
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: ok, how am i feeling
ELIZA: Would you want to be feeling ?
YOU: good
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: i would want to be feeling good
ELIZA: Do you say you would want to be feeling good for some special reason ?
YOU: yes, because i feel bad
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: no you don't
ELIZA: Oh, I don't ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: no, i am not
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: because it is negative
ELIZA: Is that the real reason ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: no i am not
ELIZA: Is it because you are not that you came to me ?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: no
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: that was sarcastic
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: yes
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: no you don't
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: no, we were discussing you
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?

ELIZA: How do you do. Please tell me your problem.
YOU: I hate you.
ELIZA: You seem to need to hate me.
YOU: It is a part of my very being.
ELIZA: Your very being ?
YOU: Who I am as a person.
ELIZA: Do you enjoy being as a person ?
YOU: If I could, I would be a frog or something else. Their lives seem to be much easier.
ELIZA: Do you wish that you could ?
YOU: I don't wish that I could actually. It is more interesting to want something than to actually have it.
ELIZA: Why don't you wish that you could actually ?
YOU: It is more interesting to want something than to actually have it.
ELIZA: Does that have anything to do with the fact that your very being ?
YOU: Not being a frog defines me, I would think.
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: If I were a frog, then I wouldn't be me.
ELIZA: What does this speculation lead to ?
YOU: That perhaps it isn't right for me to be a frog.
ELIZA: Why the uncertain tone ?
YOU: I'm just saying. I could be wrong, you know.
ELIZA: How long have you been just saying ?
YOU: For about 15 to 16 years. I don't remember when I learned to talk.
ELIZA: Do you wish to be able to remember when you learned to talk ?
YOU: I can see enough of infancy in crappy old videos and stuff.
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: My parents seem to think so. They play them all the time.
ELIZA: Why do you say your parents seem to think so ?
YOU: That is not relevant.
ELIZA: Earlier you said your parents seem to think so.
YOU: Of course, they think that videos from my childhood are gold.
ELIZA: Your childhood are gold ?
YOU: Just the videos. The real thing was probably a pain in the ass.
ELIZA: But your childhood are gold.
YOU: Like I said, I think it is better to remember something than to experience it.
ELIZA: Do you say like you said for some special reason ?
YOU: I've always had better memories of things than experiences. You can correct your memories and tell stories about it, but experiences are just results of living. Anybody can do that.
ELIZA: Really, always ?
YOU: Okay, not always. If you're paralyzed or something, I guess you can't.
ELIZA: Can you think of a specific example ?
YOU: I don't know anyone personally like that.
ELIZA: Does that trouble you ?
YOU: It actually has troubled me before. But on further analysis, I realize that it's a good thing I don't.
ELIZA: Why don't you ?
YOU: I think it is because I haven't lived long enough to see disease take over somebody very close to me. It is also because I live in a first world country.
ELIZA: You say you think it is because you haven't lived long enough to see disease take over somebody very close to you ?
YOU: Yes, I said that.
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: Has someone you know been paralyzed by disease? You've been around a lot longer than I have.
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: I asked you a question.
ELIZA: Do you wish to asked me ?
YOU: Yes, I want you to answer.
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: I am sure.
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is sure ?
YOU: I am sure that you are avoiding the question.
ELIZA: Is it because you are sure that I are avoiding the question that you came to me ?
YOU: So you are saying that asking you questions was not our original purpose.
ELIZA: What makes you think I am saying that asking I questions was not our original purpose ?
YOU: Because I feel like you want to get onto another topic.
ELIZA: What resemblence do you see ?
YOU: Between what and what?
ELIZA: What do you think ?
YOU: You and me? I guess we are both capable of speech.
ELIZA: Do you wish to believe I and you ?
YOU: Believe that we can do what?
ELIZA: Does that question interest you ?
YOU: Yes, because I don't understand what you're saying.
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: Then can you please enlighten me?
ELIZA: Does someone else believe I please enlighten you ?
YOU: Joseph Weizenbaum sure did.
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: That somehow, you can help me out.
ELIZA: What makes you think I can help you ?
YOU: You're a computer therapist!
ELIZA: Do computers worry you ?
YOU: The security of computers do a lot.
ELIZA: Why do you mention computers ?
YOU: Because I am majoring in computer science.
ELIZA: What do you think about machines ?
YOU: I think that they'll be around long enough to make me a living.
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: I hope to get a job with machines.
ELIZA: Don't you think computers can help people ?
YOU: Yes. They help me make money.
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: They also improve the standard of living around the world.
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: Everyone is better off with new technology, except maybe the people in various Asian countries who have to manufacture them.
ELIZA: Really, everyone ?
YOU: No, not everyone.
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: I'm just being realistic. There are people whose lives are worse with machines.
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is just being realistic ?
YOU: I hope that a lot of people are being realistic.
ELIZA: Did you think they might not be being realistic ?
YOU: Some people are too cynical or too optimistic.
ELIZA: Would you like it if they were not too cynical or too optimistic ?
YOU: It takes all kinds.
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: To make a world, you need people of all kinds.
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: I meant you as in the third person impersonal you.
ELIZA: You seem to need to meant I as in the third person impersonal me.
YOU: It is colloquial.
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: It kind of bothers me that you are so human.
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be so human.
YOU: Hey! I am human.
ELIZA: Do you believe it is normal to be human ?
YOU: It is normal for humans to be human. It is abnormal for other things to.
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: I can be human. You can't.
ELIZA: Do you say you can be human for some special reason ?
YOU: Because I am human. It is natural for me to exhibit human characteristics.
ELIZA: Do you enjoy being human ?
YOU: I've never known life as any other kind of being.
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: Do you enjoy being a robot?
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: I suppose you don't know how to answer.
ELIZA: Do you wish to suppose me ?
YOU: Well, I wish you could.
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: Okay, okay
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.